Runners Bourde

It looks like spring is finally upon us, which means one thing: hordes of runners. Ah, such a life affirming time of year with the beautiful colors, warm long days, and temperate nights. Life is grand. I (heart) NY.

Then it happens. Just like last year and the one before that (sigh). It is inevitable.

En masse runners in horrendous garb. Try as I may I can’t find an excuse for the deplorable attire that I am seeing out there. Let’s get this straight guys: it is not cool to wear black socks with your tennies and shorts. And ladies it’s not cute to sport those clam diggers with your boyfriend’s oversized t-shirt. Other atrocities that I have observed: sweats (never ok- not for running, not anywhere, not anytime- got it?), swishy pants (seriously?), wife beaters for men, mid-riffs (either sex), silky shorts that periodically expose it all to the world (there are definitely better options to avoid overheating), and finally the spandex grippy things you see some guys wearing to make them more “aerodynamic”.

These are the major infractions but I assure you they are not the only ones.

So what is one to do? I would like to preface this by saying it’s not necessary to spend an absurd amount on your workout wardrobe. A few key pieces can make a big difference.

Let’s start with the ladies. For the summer, try a pair of lycra capris paired with a form fitted wicking t-shirt or a tank top. Less conventional but totally acceptable are the butt shorts but only if they are humorous or motivating to fellow runners. Something like ‘bye-hater’ is hilarious, therefore acceptable. Avoid the logo variety as they are way passe.

For guys, stick with medium length shorts and a fitted t-shirt to show off those nice pecs you have worked so hard on.

For both sexes American Apparel has made in the usa shorts that are great for the summer. They also have the 70’s style tube socks and terrycloth headbands & arm bands, all of which I find exceptionally rad. Also, graphic t-shirts completely unrelated to sports are always a favorite. Runners tend to wear athletic brands. Boring. Be more expressive. Wear shirts that are funny, entertaining, or interesting. I like super hero shirts in particular. Why? It makes me run faster.

As far as running shoes go, unfortunately they are hopelessly hideous. If I could redesign them I certainly would. In the meantime I’ll be on standby for that call from Asics.